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Friday’s Funny Roast

by Graceful Chic

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Its Friday, and its time for some laughter!  You know what the big book says about laughter, “A merry heart does good, like medicine”  – Prov 17:22

Here are some of the funny quotes to start your weekend!

“I like long walks, especially if they are taken by people that annoy me.” –Fred Allen

“Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city” – George Burns

“ I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later, you have to start all over again” – Joan Rivers

“ I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I don’t want to interrupt her” – Rodney Dangerfield

“Wine is a constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy” – Benjamin Franklin

“If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?” –  Lily Tomlin

“He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce, I keep the house.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

“ Only when the tide goes out do you discover who’s been swimming naked” – Warren Buffett

“ Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” – Robin Williams

“I am not a member of any organized political party, I am a Democrat” – Will Rogers

“I like a woman with a head on her shoulder. I hate necks.” – Steve Martin

“Until you walk a mile in another man’s moccasins you can’t image the smell” – Robert Byrne

Have a great weekend everyone. For more wholesome entertainment, be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter and Instagram!

 

Friday’s Funny Roast

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