Friday’s Funny Roast 3

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Its Friday! Oh is at a Saturday?  It must be a Friday somewhere,  and its time for some laughter!  “A merry heart does good, like medicine”

Here are some funny quotes to start your weekend!

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created Man and rested. Then God created Woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested. –

Wall Street is the only place that people drive to in a Rolls Royce to take advice from people who ride the subway – Warren Buffet

The stockbroker urged me to buy the stock that will triple its value every 3 years. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even by green banana.” – Claude Pepper

When I eventually met Mr. Right, I had no idea that his first name was Always – Rita Rudner

A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore – Yogi Bera

Q: Did you know that they had automobiles in Jesus’ time? A: Yes, the Bible says that the disciples were all of one Accord. –

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at? – Margaret Smith

TV is chewing gum for the eyes – Frank Lloyd Wright

A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.“What Denomination?” Asked the clerk. 

 “Oh, my goodness! Have we come to this?” said the woman. 

 “Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic!”

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Friday’s Funny Roast 3

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