By Jenna Viviano
Sometimes I have days where I am absolutely soaring – motivated, encouraged, joyful and feeling like an absolute productive gangster (okay I am about as opposite a gangster as one can be, but you get the point). During these times I’m really good at confidence. I could write books on confidence. I could speak to thousands of people on confidence. I get on a roll bee-bopping through my day, throwing glitter around because I’m so dang happy. Until….
WHAM! Doubt. Insecurity. Anxiety. Indecision. And Distrust smack me square in the face. Like a Jenga game, my bricks go tumbling down. What confidence? Where did that old friend go? I lose sight of my mission, my goals and let external influences affect me way. too. much. I get inside my own head, let the resistance take hold and worry, worry, worry. Have you experienced this? Where the little voice in your head declares:
1. What if I fail?
2. I’m not good enough
3. I’m going to disappoint others
4. I’m going to be thought of as a fraud, a hypocrite
5. My dream is totally un-achievable
6. Don’t even try. If I put myself out there, well, that’s scary. Who knows what will happen?
7. If I do this, that person I want to approve of me is definitely not going to approve of me
8. I see everyone succeeding around me and I just feel insecure about my own accomplishments
My friend, I totally relate.
But as a Christian, I see Jesus immediately reaching out his hand while I’m over this murky, messy water and saying, “You of little faith, why are you doubting?”
To which I start sputtering, “Well you know Jesus, funny you should ask. I’ve failed before and I have no experience in xyz area. I don’t trust myself in the follow through. I’m not sure this will work. And you know, I’m really not that capable and…”
“Do you not think I’m capable?”
“Um, well yeah. But I’m talking about me here, my little life. Haven’t you seen the news this past week Jesus – I mean I think that you have bigger fish to fry than deal with what’s going on in my life. I’m no one special.”
“I’m going to get a bit sappy on you here my dear. Because you are incredibly mistaken. I have great vision for your life. Your life means something. I created you, designed you, and am writing your story as we speak. Have confidence and comfort in that. Do you actually know what I mean when I say that you are fearfully and wonderfully made? It means that you are extravagant, marvelous, beloved, cherished and splendidly crafted. Follow me, trust in me, do your part and the little you put in, the little acts of obedience – I will do great things with.”
Jena is a believer in kindred spirits, handwritten thank you notes and divine intervention. She desires to encourage and inspire other young women as they navigate through the muddy waters of becoming an adult. By day, you can find her on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange. By night, you can find her blogging away at giant in heels or instagramming on her page @giantinheels.
So About Doubt: A Little Talk With Jesus