By Tiffani Credle
Lynette sits down with Graceful Chic to discuss Remember the Roses and give dating and relationship advice to women who want to get married someday, but have yet to join roads with Mr. Right.
G.C.: Lynette, for many years, your story about waiting for God’s best has encouraged so many single Christian women. When most women hear you waited 42 years to get married, they think, “How did you do it?” What do you do while waiting for Mr. Right?
Lynette: Go live all your other dreams. Don’t hold back. While one is on hold, do the others. The key for me was following my other dreams, not waiting for marriage to give me the “ticket” to go places and experience things. Whether it was buying home items for my love of cooking, decorating my home, travel, pursuing career goals, or moving to NYC, all these represented the desires of my heart and helped cultivate the life and skills that would eventually attract my world-changer type of husband! I lived my adventures and when marriage came, my cup was full and overflowing versus my heart feeling completely spent like I was barely crossing the finish line.
G.C.: So you were no Sleeping Beauty, idle until Mr. Right came around. After 42 years of waiting, what was it like to finally “get it”?
Lynette: Fabulous, but surprisingly, I woke up 3 months later thinking, “Hmmm, so this is it?” Not in a negative way, but realizing that so much still felt the same. I still had my own dreams, desires and plans.Yes, I now have my wonderful husband to share it with, but before he came along I had so many rich friendships that were, in a sense, helping me do the same things. Enjoy life NOW; don’t buy the lie that later when you’re married to your dream person everything will be better. Some things might be, but every season has trade-offs. Milk this moment for everything you can and later you will have no regrets. You are not missing out on anything, you’re just in a certain season that has its own gifts. Celebrate now and you’ll find yourself celebrating later too.
G.C: What about falling in love and romance? In Remember the Roses you talk about asking God for sleepless nights. You prayed for a man that would keep you up all night because you are thinking about him. For women still waiting for love, what can they expect in marriage?
Lynette: Romance is a wonderful gift and definitely something you want in a marriage, but it’s more like the icing than the cake. Without the cake, icing is rather dull and certainly not satisfying, but cake without icing is not as sweet (literally) either. Romantic feelings ebb and flow but the friendship and other more crucial factors like spiritual oneness and commitment are much more consistent and make the romance even more intense and fulfilling.
G.C.: I have followed your story for years but what I discovered in Remember the Roses is that you experienced heart ache, disappointment and rejection. Like you, many women experience a lot of Mr. Wrongs and painful experiences before Mr. Right. What encouragement would you give women trying to get over heartache and emotional pain from past relationships?
Lynette: Get your heart healed and become whole, then make healthy choices. It’s not all that different than our physical health. We may go through a health crisis but we can recover and then change our lifestyle choices so that we don’t get sick again.
G.C.: What about the really dark moments during singleness? What did you do when all hope seemed lost?
Lynette: There were two break-ups that left me desolate and desperate. I felt rejected and hopeless. Looking back though, neither of those relationships were God’s BEST. Oh, how I thank the Lord for not answering my prayers, but answering my “higher prayers,” those prayers that point me to the best long-term. I could not have done this without my family and friends who brought comfort and told me the Truth in those dark moments — that the Lord had something better and brighter on the other side of the pain.
G.C.: Disney sells little girls the idea of Prince Charming and Hollywood sells women the idea of finding a soul mate or “The One”. Do you believe in soul mates?
Lynette: Not really, I think in the will of God we find one or two BEST choices, but as we commit and choose to invest wholeheartedly, a person becomes our soul mate and our souls are knit as one.
G.C.: How do you discern the difference between a “good guy” and God’s BEST for you?
Lynette: I put a lot of the wisdom and principles in Remember the Roses. You discern if the person is “personally whole and healed.” He must have a vision for his life and have healthy relationships. Most of all, he must love the Lord with all his heart and have relationships that help him grow and stay accountable.
G.C.: You often talk about looking for a man that loves God. However, many Christian women, especially in big cities, have a hard time meeting Christian men. They often say, “There are no single men in church.” What advice would you give Christian women looking for a Christian man?
Lynette: Insert yourself in groups where the kind of man you’re looking for would hang out. Like kinds hang together, and like friends know one another. You never know when someone you know will think of someone else they know that would be great for you. It’s a trust journey, believing that the Lord has His man in His time for you. Then we get out and friend others like those we want to meet. In the course of those relationships, the right relationships emerge. 85% of people meet their spouse through mutual friends.This process works!
G.C.: So what is next now that you have published your second book?
Lynette: I’m starting a new business still under wraps, writing a third book on “how to do your dreams”, practically step by step starting now, not when things are perfect. I’m also beginning three internet TV shows.
As little girls most women, dream of finding love and Mr. Right but most women could never imagine waiting until their 40’s to finally meet him. In her latest book, Remember the Roses, Lynette Lewis, author, speaker, business consultant and founder of Pure Life and Stop Child Trafficking Now, recounts the journey of waiting 42 years for God’s best to encourage the 42 million Christian women over 18 that are still waiting.
Remember the Roses is a story of hope, filled with practical tools, Godly wisdom, and candid dairy entries recording Lynette’s experience during her years of waiting for marriage. From her conversations with God questioning “Where is he?” to break ups and celebrating marriage with close friends and family, she remained hopeful while her vision for marriage still lingered in a distance. Lynette shares how at the right time God eventually fulfills her heart’s desire but he comes in a somewhat unexpected package. Her inspirational love story inspires other women to stay equally determined to not settle but to go out and live other dreams while waiting for God’s best.
For more about Lynette Lewis’s journey, purchase a copy of Remember the Roses: How to Hold Out, Hang On and Marry the Man of Your Dreams at Amazon.com.